It’s not you, it’s me.
Well, would’ya look at this?!
This thing still works. Who knew.
I figured since I’ve had several close friends ask me, “Do you still blog?” and “Is everything okay? You haven’t blogged in a while,” I should probably dust off the ol’ keyboard and address the issue at hand.
It’s not you.
I’ve sat down to write dozens of times, but sometimes it feels frivolous, while other times it feels disingenuous.
Clearly I’m out of practice because I’ve been sitting here for over 30 minutes staring at blank space; and, I’ve already googled, “how to punctuate quotes mid-sentence,” and “synonyms for inauthentic,” which I quickly learned is not a word. It’s unauthentic. Which still doesn’t look right to me. Less than 10 sentences written and google has essentially mocked me.
Obviously, these are good times.
This is usually where I insert some attempt at sassy, witty banter and explain what I’ve been doing the past 3 months.
What’s the synonym for “I got nuthin’?”
Except the truth. And, sometimes the truth is boring. I do not want to be boring.
But, that’s all I have to offer so I’m going with it.
The time I used for blogging is now (mostly) spent on a long-held dream of mine (I wrote about it in this post). I witnessed and participated in the launching of a ministry called Echo (here’s a link if you want to check it out). It’s such a huge part of my life currently, that if I didn’t write about it, I would feel like I should change the name of my website to the Sometimes Real V, or the Real V when she wants to be, or my favorite, the Real V #orNah.
So, I wrote some pieces for the Echo blog, taught at some of the meetings, invited women of all ages and stages to participate, and prayed for a movement.
There hasn’t been a movement. There isn’t a spiritual awakening. No revival. Not even a lot of women at our gatherings.
In fact, Echo, doesn’t really look like the dream and vision God’s written on my heart.
I am convinced He is moving in His people. I am confident He will awaken our apathetic and bored souls. I am certain He will rouse a deaf world.
But, I’ve been disappointed.
And, I’ve been frustrated.
And, I’m sorry.
It’s not you.
(Although, I really wanted to blame you.)
While it’s so much easier to get frustrated with anyone other than myself, God is graciously and undoubtedly teaching me that if I want to be a part of His movement and an awakening of His people, I must move and I must be awake.
I’m not talking about a works based salvation. Although, let’s be honest. Wouldn’t that be easier sometimes? A linear, logical, tidy checklist? A formula or a recipe?
Because awakening my soul to compassion and love demands movement toward the brokenness, the illogical, and the messy.
A movement requires action of my faith.
An awakening requires inconvenience and sacrifice.
To offer the hope of Jesus to a broken, lonely world means I must move past being friendly to the broken and the lonely to being a friend of the broken and the lonely.
So that’s the journey I’ve been on the past few months.
To get out from behind the comfort of my keyboard and move towards whoever God puts right in my path.
That’s how movements of God start. That’s how spiritual awakenings occur–people who were once lost become friends with those who are lost and love them the way Jesus loves all of us.
Isn’t that the model Jesus gave us?
For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.
I have an expectancy and anticipation for God’s movement in and through Echo. Echo’s future is not dependent on the leadership team’s strengths or weaknesses; it’s dependent on the One who is Faithful to finish the work He’s started.
And, the work He’ll finish may not ever look like the dream, I believe, He’s given me. But, I am learning that it’s for my good to hold loosely to dreams while He hones my obedience.
Maybe there’s a dream He’s given you that doesn’t quite look like you thought, or maybe it’s not even close to being realized.
Here’s my encouragement:
God, in His grace and mercy, will finish the work He’s started.
Sometimes that means He’ll finish the work He’s started IN you.
Sometimes that means He’ll finish the work He’s started THROUGH you.
Our dreams may never look like we thought they would. They may never even be realized.
No matter what, we will be better for it. He will be Faithful to transform and change us.
We will be moved. We will be awakened.
Kinda sounds like we’ll get to experience a movement and spiritual awakening after all.